Portfolio Reflection

Don Dela Cruz Jr

04/27/15

AP Lang. P.4

Portfolio Reflection

     In a nutshell, my portfolio represents the utmost mediocre writing and a skill level that proves to need improvement and enhancement. While many can say their portfolios illustrate the character of one's self, I believe my writing only deciphers my level of opinion rather than overall intellect and persona. In some odd perspective, literature suits me well; it is an area that does not require expertise, accuracy, or academic grades, but prioritizes the individualism and thinking that can differ throughout other minds. Let's first understand what exactly is in my portfolio.

     The portfolio, which can reflect the ambition I have towards working, may seem no more than irresponsible and fatigued; there's a point where work can be habitual or a chore and where work can be deciphered as art, passion, and creativity. I believe my portfolio lacks many assignments, yet the ones in which are present completely deflect the ideal that presumes my mind to be lower than I perceive it to be; a mind capable of so much more. This possibility of intellect intrigues and frigtens me because in the end, with all the hard work I've dedicated myself to, my grades fall short to my false impression of myself. This causes me to discourage any other effort to better myself because the outcome pervasively remains the same negative ending. As I write this paper, it becomes relatively simple to the solution of my issues: give up. 

     The portfolio might be the only conclusion to my issues due to the evidence that I somewhat enjoy challenging myself and the academic duplicate society has created for me. It's a glimmer of hope that one day I can fit into the ideal citizen' a well paying job, beautiful home, and a nice life. I see now that my loss of passion to something as simple as education can deduct the strength and will found in my inner self, which plays such an essential role to find success, nirvana, and conclusions. In such a promiscuous way, I have found my mental barriers to hold down the possibilities and opportunities I attain by simply pitting myself down. Society tells you to be realistic and settle down, yet what motivates me, personally, is the ability to believe in a world or goal where I can be and do something much bigger than what was meant or assumed for me to become. "The Sky is the limit" is another vague and cliche method of promoting positivism, but what makes the lesson much more meaningful, not aloof, is by applying it to each aspect of your own lifestyle: being positive mentally, physically, socially, intellectually, academically, etc. 

     How does this entire paper answer all the questions on the "Portfolio Guiding Questions"? I am trying to put forth to my audience that "I am a big fish in a small pond" I have been limited to achieve any high goals, from grades to report cards, simply because I have not realized how lazy and ridiculously pessimistic I have become. It is no doubt that this class has truly altered me and how I perceive education; with all the books and lessons we've learned from, I realize that some classes such as this one develops the form of ambiguity and ambition to endeavor in much larger goals like a career or higher thinking. The ability to compensate for such a bad year is by reflecting on it and realizing how productive you have become even when it seemed so useless and pointless. For some odd reason, this will be a class to be forever cherished. It was a class that witnessed my highs, my mediums, and my lows, which can also configure the meaning to my blog subheading: "While I struggle to find myself, one day, I will witness my inauguration...". The blog subheading simply puts my year as an AP Language student into a sentence---I struggled to stay positive and clear throughout this entire year of learning, yet I look back within this assignment and realize I have come so far. My ability to analyze, my ability to write, and my ability to organize has become comprehensibly skilled. I am no Charles Dickens nor am I a John Kim---I am Don and while I do not succumb to anyone's particular standards, I will accept myself fully one day, and because of this class and progression, it seems evident that the idea might be closer than I think.