Portfolio Reflection

Don Dela Cruz Jr

04/27/15

AP Lang. P.4

Portfolio Reflection

     In a nutshell, my portfolio represents the utmost mediocre writing and a skill level that proves to need improvement and enhancement. While many can say their portfolios illustrate the character of one's self, I believe my writing only deciphers my level of opinion rather than overall intellect and persona. In some odd perspective, literature suits me well; it is an area that does not require expertise, accuracy, or academic grades, but prioritizes the individualism and thinking that can differ throughout other minds. Let's first understand what exactly is in my portfolio.

     The portfolio, which can reflect the ambition I have towards working, may seem no more than irresponsible and fatigued; there's a point where work can be habitual or a chore and where work can be deciphered as art, passion, and creativity. I believe my portfolio lacks many assignments, yet the ones in which are present completely deflect the ideal that presumes my mind to be lower than I perceive it to be; a mind capable of so much more. This possibility of intellect intrigues and frigtens me because in the end, with all the hard work I've dedicated myself to, my grades fall short to my false impression of myself. This causes me to discourage any other effort to better myself because the outcome pervasively remains the same negative ending. As I write this paper, it becomes relatively simple to the solution of my issues: give up. 

     The portfolio might be the only conclusion to my issues due to the evidence that I somewhat enjoy challenging myself and the academic duplicate society has created for me. It's a glimmer of hope that one day I can fit into the ideal citizen' a well paying job, beautiful home, and a nice life. I see now that my loss of passion to something as simple as education can deduct the strength and will found in my inner self, which plays such an essential role to find success, nirvana, and conclusions. In such a promiscuous way, I have found my mental barriers to hold down the possibilities and opportunities I attain by simply pitting myself down. Society tells you to be realistic and settle down, yet what motivates me, personally, is the ability to believe in a world or goal where I can be and do something much bigger than what was meant or assumed for me to become. "The Sky is the limit" is another vague and cliche method of promoting positivism, but what makes the lesson much more meaningful, not aloof, is by applying it to each aspect of your own lifestyle: being positive mentally, physically, socially, intellectually, academically, etc. 

     How does this entire paper answer all the questions on the "Portfolio Guiding Questions"? I am trying to put forth to my audience that "I am a big fish in a small pond" I have been limited to achieve any high goals, from grades to report cards, simply because I have not realized how lazy and ridiculously pessimistic I have become. It is no doubt that this class has truly altered me and how I perceive education; with all the books and lessons we've learned from, I realize that some classes such as this one develops the form of ambiguity and ambition to endeavor in much larger goals like a career or higher thinking. The ability to compensate for such a bad year is by reflecting on it and realizing how productive you have become even when it seemed so useless and pointless. For some odd reason, this will be a class to be forever cherished. It was a class that witnessed my highs, my mediums, and my lows, which can also configure the meaning to my blog subheading: "While I struggle to find myself, one day, I will witness my inauguration...". The blog subheading simply puts my year as an AP Language student into a sentence---I struggled to stay positive and clear throughout this entire year of learning, yet I look back within this assignment and realize I have come so far. My ability to analyze, my ability to write, and my ability to organize has become comprehensibly skilled. I am no Charles Dickens nor am I a John Kim---I am Don and while I do not succumb to anyone's particular standards, I will accept myself fully one day, and because of this class and progression, it seems evident that the idea might be closer than I think. 

Correction 4/ Textbook Work

Correction 4

1. B
2. H
3. D
4. H
5. B
6. G

Prompt

     Stephen Crane's poem, in my opinion, seems relentless, sad, and drastically affluent to a society that belittles its people. Crane writes his poem of war; a very complicated battle that involves physical, emotional, and mental harm. Stephen Crane seems so intrigued by the idea of war, and a supporter to the soldiers who fight in it, but is so discouraged by his own abilities where he claims he cannot be one (he believes he is not strong enough or willing). What seems to be a poem on war and violence becomes a poem of self-belittling and lacks a sense of self-confidence. It's a poem of war but not between nations, but between man and himself. His lack of confidence and his willing to make him smaller than the rest of the soldiers, or in other words "people", causes the reader to understand the insecurity and hopelessness of the author and how weak one can become after a war with himself. Getting into the other poem by Komunrakaa, both poets seem to follow each other's steps and art when it comes to the different aspects of writing such as tone, mood, and theme. Both share a tone that seems less optimistic, more pessimistic, and much more queer and peculiar than most poems due to its strong reflection-of-self and its passion to mirror an image of what the author believes he is or what he should write of (the nature of man). They both write about the natural environment of outlandish behaviors and the anatomy of the human mind and its critical significance to feeling the meaning and importance of one's self and one another.

Correction 3/ Textbook Work

Correction 3

1. C
2. G
3. A
4. G
5. C
6. H
7. B
8. J

Prompt

     Whitman and Baca are both two revolutionary thinkers in the eyes of the poetic/literature world. Whitman, known for his soft and gentle words, collide with the everlasting deep and meaningful rhymes from Baca in this textbook work. The given poems from both poets share similar traits such as morals and rights (existentialism), yet they represent different opinions and beliefs in each other's writing. Whitman, in my opinion, has the upper hand coming forth as the optimist; he writes on society and people as a positive and much more hopeful generation rather than Baca. Baca writes in a more individualistic way; a ballistic approach to how society manipulates its own decisions and causes its own alteration through time. He then seeps his own opinion on natural depletion and natural changes in society through his writing.

Correction 2/ Textbook Work

Correction 2:

1. B
2. G
3. D
4. H
5. B
6. G
7. D
8. J
9. A
10. H

Prompt:

     Both authors and poets Edgar Allan Poe and H.D view different aspects when it comes to Helen. As an avid reader of Poe's art, his usage of similes and analogies becomes apparent when seeing the visual description he has towards Helen's beauty. On the other hand. H.D uses social behavior and awkwardness as a way to describe his point of view on Helen and her own traits. Edgar Allan Poe, as dark as he is, seemingly becomes more lenient and graceful towards the feminine nature and idea of Helen, a beautiful, loving woman, whereas H.D seems to be much more critical and judgmental to the gender. It becomes clear which side Poe and H.D are on the likeness of the subject "women"; Poe shows more grace and appreciation towards his opposite sex while H.D shows structural, stiff critique that represents a strong non-suit towards the sex.

Correction 1/ Textbook Work

Correction 1:
1)A
2)J
3)A
4)B
5)C
6)H
7)C
8)H
9)A
10)F

Prompt:

    The two poems both ingrate a different depiction of one topic: love. Love is a common theme between both poems, yet each one has its different aspects of emotion, writing, and perspective. For example, Bradstreet's poem seem alike to the meaning in Millay's, yet founded in a completely different way and its alternative way of understanding love and romance can become clarified to understanding or analyzing the author and his background. Bradstreet's poem becomes obvious that it is more likely to romanticize and charm the easily understood people and common love, yet Millay's way of thinking to depict or shed his knowledge on love is to use subliminal and hidden meanings that takes more than just reading, but thinking to compensate for such complicated writing.

Don't know why I did it but I did.

It's incredible how can one set of words can be so easy to say, so easily misinterpreted, yet so easily felt. While it is mistakenly one of the easiest things to say, it is one of the most difficult; not physically, but emotionally. Life depicts its meaning in so many different ways: in lust, in stupidity, in naivety, in high hopes. 

It was said too fast, too soon, too early, yet felt so right and so natural.

Nothing like the feelings of discomfort, anxiety, stress, and curiosity---only a few words which can replicate the way one feels with the blue haze of emotions that sought from the amount in which the person means.

It is the feeling of the serpent's venom causing waves of pain and misery towards its victim---a pain that subsides not only within one area of the body, but overcomes the body and mind.

It is hard to escape the treachery; the pain and the suffering, because in the end, the serpent was worth the bite. The thought of the serpent and its fangs can bewilder, yet become so heavenly and angelic. The thought of the serpent can linger for hours or it can sneak itself within seconds, yet in the end, its thought becomes so much more than just a meaningless spot in the galaxy of the mind, but a colorful dream that one carefully examines, one carefully plots, and one carefully hesitates over because it so important, ideal, and essential.
In the end, the pain is worth the bite. And however flesh-eating, blood-sucking the serpent will be, it will still be worth it.

Los Angeles Riots

Los Angeles Riots

Interview of Mother

DON DELA CRUZ~~~~~~~~~~~INTERVIEWED: MOTHER

1) I was living in Los Angeles at the time, in the same home we live in today, in Hollywood. 

2) I remember that I was 9 months pregnant with your older sister when it was happening, and many bizarre moments had occurred when I was around town such as being in the middle of a drive-by shooting.

3) The news and media made the riots sound terrifying and very violent, and focused on the colored people.

4) I knew a local Filipino store that had been looted during the riots and had much of their merchandise and money taken and/or destroyed.

5) Civil Rights should not enlighten the idea of riots because it only causes more problems and death than it first started off with (racism and violence towards colored people)

6) It is hard to believe that all of it happened due to the incident of Rodney King. It was a good thing that people became passionate about their fellow peers, but it should not have reached to violence, theft, and everything else that the colored people are blamed for in the first place (stereotypes, racism, prejudice beliefs).

7) It was just chaos within the Los Angeles parameter. There was loot, theft, assault, murder, and basically a state of emergency in Los Angeles all under the belief to rebel against society. It goes back to the riots of the Civil Rights Movement or even fast forward to the riots in Ferguson. Each lack the ability to cope with an issue head on and without physical harm because we were brought up into a society that shapes our belief to passionately and aggressively fight for our rights.

8) I would like to share that it is completely insane that people will prove their superiors right when they are provoked into violence and inhumane acts due to not being able to control our emotions and adrenaline. Society has produced generations of youth that cannot deal with their own problems and must act out onto other issues without control. 

 And to believe that all this carnage and despair all happened in our city, a place we call "home"